Burning Light
by Iris Pont
Summary: The Games we know didn't happen. Peeta is dead. Katniss is haunted. Her heart is in pieces and she can't seem to pick them up herself.
1. Grave

It seems almost inevitable. The fire is everywhere. Surrounding me, encompassing me, enveloping my brain until all I can see are sparks of pain. Bodies are strewn around me, including one of the Avox boy. The sight fills me with regret. _It's my fault. All my fault._

Mutts appear out of the unforgiving flames, their eyes filled with burning anger. I try to run but the fear numbs me to the point which I can't move. They pounce on me, and I just know they want to devour every part of my body and soul. One opens its mouth, and Peeta's voice jumps out at me. _You're the reason I'm dead, Katniss. It's your fault we're all dead. No one will ever forgive you._ In the back of my head, I hear Rue's whistling. I scream in terror, pain, and sadness as the mutts descend. _All. My. Fault._

My own frightened screams awaken me, and suddenly I'm in my house in District 12. I'm soaked to the bone with sweat. Gale rushes in to see me hyperventilating, trying to regain some sense of reality. I'm so thankful he's here with me. He seems to be the only part of my old life that's still true.

The nightmares started three days after the Games ended. They're different almost every night, but they always end the same horrifying way. Screaming. Crying. All. My. Fault. It's been seven months since then, and the nightmares still haunt me every night. No matter what I do they won't stop. It's gotten to the point where I scare my mother and Prim so much that they can't stay in the house. They spend their nights with Haymitch, and Gale offers to say with me. It's nice to know that normal is only down the hall. I know it hurts Gale to witness me in this state, but his eyes still tell me he's committed.

The very sight of him brings me to tears of relief and sadness. He crosses the room to my bed, hugging me. I bury my head in his chest, crying so much I can't stand it. I hate being so vulnerable. I am sick of always being too fragile. We sit there for who know how long in the cold darkness, me so weak and him so strong.

Finally I pull away to dry my eyes, trying to hide my face. But Gale stares full on at me. His piercing stare can alone bring me to tears, but I fight the urge to cry in front of him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I-I'm fine. Really."

"I can stay. You know, if it helps."

"Really. It's not that bad," Really I just want him to go away.

He tries to smile sympathetically, but I can see the pain in his eyes. He gets up and leaves.

When he's finally gone, I start crying again. Not out of fear, but out of anger. I hurt everyone I come in contact with. I hurt all those people in the area. I hurt Rue and Peeta by not being there when they needed me. I hurt their families and their districts. I hurt Peeta's family worse. I hurt my family every time I scream at night. I hurt my best friend by forcing him to see me this way. I hurt everyone and everything I touch.

I finally retreat under the covers and curl up in a ball, hoping it will muffle my sobbing. Finally I drift into another restless sleep, but somehow contain my screams.

The next day I wake up to sounds in the kitchen. As I walk in, I see it's only my mother in the house. Prim is off to school and Gale to work in the mines.

"Good morning. Sleep well?" My mother notices the dark circle under my eyes and has her answer. She changes the subject. "It snowed last night. I thought you would like that."

Actually I did. I needed to cool off (no pun intended) in seclusion. A big storm would prevent most people from coming outside, let alone bother me.

I grab my old boots and trudge into the chilling air. Looking around the Champion's Circle, there is no one outside. Who would be? Haymitch is either drunk or hung over. No one else.

There is about three feet of snow on the ground. After walking a safe distance toward the fence, I lay prostrate on the ground. I let the snow overpower my body, hoping it will extinguish the fire inside. But it only leaves me cold and alone.

After a while, I get up, letting my feet carry me. Soon I find myself at the bakery. Crap. But I go in, none the less. And what I do isn't so shocking anymore.

"Can I have one loaf of bread?" I ask tentatively. I try not to meet the gaze of Peeta's father.

Silently he gives me the bread, and I give him all the money in my pocket. It's way too much for one loaf, but I won't let myself do otherwise.

I walk behind the bakery and arrive at the makeshift grave. I lay the bread down. I have to talk to him.

"Hey… I brought you some bread. Remember when you would tell me what kind came from each district?" The memory brings fresh tears to my eyes, but I continue, "It's been a while since I've been here last. But I saw you again last night in the arena… Oh Peeta I'm so sorry. It is all my fault, I know it." I fall down to the ground, shaken. I grab the headstone to steady me.

I hear footsteps crunching in the snow, but refuse to look up. When I finally do, I'm astonished to see Peeta's brother, whose name I cannot for the life of me remember. But it's amazing, the resemblance between him and his dead brother.

"You come here too, huh?" He says. I can barely nod my head. He looks at Peeta's grave, and I'm expecting him to blame me or yell at me. Instead, he simply says, "It's not your fault, you know. Peeta. He would have died in the Games with or without you protecting him."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that you can't keep beating yourself up about what happened. He already knew he was walking to his death. He knew you had to be the one to come home. You would be happier."

I'm flabbergasted. "You think I'm happy right now? You think I enjoy being haunted by 23 ghosts that I killed? You think I like being the one to blame for all of that?" My anger takes over, and I stand up from the grave. I'm shaking with anger and with terror.

"Wait a second! Happy wasn't the right word there. I meant to say that Peeta knew you would do greater things with your life then he ever would."

"Do you realize you're saying this about your DEAD BROTHER? I can't believe you!"

"Your life is more important to others. If Peeta came home, do you know how many people would never be the same? Peeta, your mom, your sister, and your friend wouldn't be able to stand living! Your life means a lot more to people. He and I both _**know**_ that you will be a blessing to many people. Peeta sacrificed his life for _you_, Katniss, and for all those people. Including himself."

"But you don't understand. I **can't** forgive myself for what happened in the arena! I can't! I hurt a lot of people with what I did! I the reason people are grieving."

"Look, I know what you did wasn't easy. But Peeta knew that you were strong enough to move past this and have a meaningful life. I just don't think you do," He started to turn, when he stopped, "You mean a lot to someone. And if you ask them I'm sure they would do the same as Peeta."

And he was gone. I was left with his words hanging in the air.


	2. Nightmare

I'm walking back from the Cornucopia, carrying the medicine for Peeta. Things are finally looking up a little. I subconsciously let my guard down. When I arrive at the cave, I see Peeta's legs sticking out of the opening. It seems reasonable. Then I see Cato running in the distance. Away.

Rushing into the cave, I'm aghast. Peeta is lying there, looking up at nothing and at everything. His hand is virtually cut off, blood gushing out. His chest is damp red, a large hole in the middle of it. His head is scalped. As I stubble to the ground next him, I notice his expression. It's pained, shocked, and relieved. His glazed eyes are filled with dry tears. How could I let myself do this? I left him completely unprotected; a sitting duck.

I scream at the sky. I scream at myself. I scream at Haymitch. I scream at the Capitol. I scream at Cato. I scream because of my own pain. Screaming until my vision turns red.

I chase after Cato, back to the Cornucopia. I'm filled with an inexplicable rage at myself and at him. We killed Peeta together. I try to shoot him with my bow, but it misses him by a few inches. Angry at myself, I fall to the ground, crying. It's then that the mutts descend.

Too preoccupied, I barely notice two mutts tear Cato and the rest of the contestants to pieces. Finally, I stop fighting, and welcome the mutts to devour me. But it's too late. The trumpets blare. The helicopter swoops in. I'm taken away from the arena before I can rightfully die. I look down and see Peeta's blood on my hands.

I wake up to Gale screaming back at me.

"Katniss! Katniss, wake up! Katniss!" He's shaking me so violently it's amazing I didn't wake up before. He sees my eyes open and stops, but still his arms are holding me up. Gently, he says, "Katniss…"

Breathing deeply, I stare right at him. His eyes are filled with tears and pain. At the same time there is relief. Relief that I'm all right, that I'm still here with him.

We throw our arms around each other and stay that way. I cling to him desperately, closer to him than I ever have been. Crying into his shoulder, I can feel his own silent tears falling down his face onto my back. Both of us sobbing, we don't pull away. Eventually I fall back asleep in his arms. I slept without the haunting of the Games.

When I awoke, I was still with Gale. My head was laying on his chest, and his arms where still wrapped around me, in a way that was both protective and comforting. I lay there for a few moments, noticing how relaxed. Though I assumed that nothing romantic had developed over the night, it was nice to lay there in Gale's embrace with my eyes closed.

After awhile, I felt Gale start to stir. I kept my eyes closed, and tried to hold on to him before he had to leave. But he got up and left. I walked over to the window to see him walking away. I wrapped my arms around myself tightly, reliving the comfort I felt in the arms of my best friend.

Walking around the Seam filled me with sadness. Seeing the small gaunt kids running around made me feel so guilty. Since the Games, my family has had more than enough to eat, while people here barely have anything. But I was returning for a reason.

I knocked on the door of Gale's house. Posy, his little sister, answered the door.

"CAT!" She screamed, hugging my leg. I hadn't been over in a while, and I'm guessing she noticed.

"Hi Posy," I said, leaning down to her to match her height, "Do you know where Gale is?"

"He's _working_," She said the word with disgust, wrinkling her nose. It's weird Gale having to work in the mines. Just another thing that has changed. After a few seconds, she sprinted back into the house, screaming with udder joy. Gale's mom walked by the door, and noticed I was still standing there.

"Katniss! Surprised to see you here! It's been a while since I saw you last."

"I know. I've meant to stop by, but I've been… busy."

"Well, come in. Have some tea," The warm smile she gave me brought me back to my days in the Seam, before the nightmares, before the Games. It made me feel like none of that had ever happened. Sitting in the house made me wish nothing had ever changed.

"So how have you been doing, since the Games settled down?"

Crap. This wasn't the easiest topic for me to talk about lately. "G-good. Yeah… It's been good… It really ha-"

"So good that you and Gale just feel like having him spend over the night?" Note to self – work on lying better.

"Well, I – well you see – it's –"

"You don't have to explain to me. I know. But things will get better. Trust me."

"I just – I don't know."

"I know you don't. But you'll find something that will help you cope. Hey, it could be right under your nose."

What's with all this horrible foreshadowing from people lately? I don't even get it.

I decide to meet Gale when he gets out of work. We haven't really spent much time together – excluding our little midnight rendezvous. I thought it would be nice to spend some time together when I'm **not** scared witless.

Finally I see him come out, but he doesn't see me yet. He looks so depressed, covered in black dust, staring at the ground. But at last he looks up to see me, almost taken aback. I wave at him, and he smiles. The sight fills me with a warm feeling in my stomach. I always feel this way when I'm with him. Usually not this strong. Nothing is changing, I tell myself.

He walks over fast, and my decision to come has already proven itself correct.

"Hey, I didn't really expect you to come by."

I laugh, one of the few I've had since I left the arena. "Yeah. I just thought if we hung out together besides… Well, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Let's walk."

For a while we talk about nothing, but that's fine with us. We almost instinctively crawl under the fence, walking deeper and deeper into the forest. Eventually he breaks the silence.

"We could have done it, you know."

"Done what?"

"Run away. Lived out here."

The memory of us talking the day of the reaping brings a smile to my face. "We probably could have. None of… that would have ever happened."

"Yeah. But we could have."

We spend the rest of the evening talking, hunting, and, much to my delight, laughing. I always feel so comfortable when I'm around Gale, and I'm pretty sure that he feels that way too.

When we climb back into District 12, Gale mentions he has to return home. I offer to go with him, but he refuses. I start walking toward my house.

"Katniss?" He calls timidly. I turn around and see that once again he is by my side.

"Yes?"

"Katniss, I-I love you."

"I-I, uh… w-what?" I'm so shocked I can barely speak. But just then Gale cups my face in his hands and kisses me. Although I'm confused, I can't help but notice how soft and gentle his hands are, how his lips fill me with warmth, how my hand are holding his shoulders, and how I could maybe be kissing him back.

After what seems like hours, he pulls away. I keep my eyes closed, trying to regain my composer. Bright lights are still flying around, and my brain is buzzing. When I actually do open my eyes, he's gone.


	3. Unbelievable

I walk home in a daze, unaware of my surroundings. My brain could very well explode at any moment. That is, if the fireworks would stop swirling around it. I touch my lips again

It wasn't until awhile later that I realized that I never said 'I love you' back. But I don't know if I do. All I know it that I practically melted in his hands when he kissed me. _But he doesn't know that_, I thought. _You didn't answer. He doesn't know how you feel._ You _don't know how you feel_.

I'm glad that when I get back home, my family is already at Haymitch's. I walk slowly into my room, and lie down on the bed. I try desperately to fall asleep, but my mind is running rampant, going from one thought to another. But they all seem to be about one thing: Gale. No matter how tight I close my eyes, I can't stop the sparks from flying around my head. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before, and I can't tell what my feelings were.

Surely I _was_ kissing him back. There is no doubt about that. But was it just heat of the moment? Or was I truly in love with Gale? Did it even matter now? I didn't tell him how I felt. For all I know he's crushed. I hurt someone else in my life. Is it always going to be this way? Me always having to harm those that I care about?

After about an hour of contemplating, I finally hear Gale come in. I close my eyes and pretend that I'm asleep, waiting for his footsteps to die out. But I hear him stop, and he's pretty close.

"Katniss?" He asks. It breaks my heart hearing the tone in his voice. It's too late for me to make my decision. He is already hurt. He's hurt because of _me_.

I hear him sigh and walk away. When I can no longer hear his footsteps, I let the tears fall. I try to make them as silent as possible, but every now and again I let out a sound of complete sadness. I keep crying until there are no tears left, and then I cry some more. By the time I dry my eyes and check the clock, it's 3:14 A.M.

Quietly, I get out of bed, and walk out of my room. From the hall, I peer in at Gale, asleep. He looks so innocent, so childlike. But at the same time he looks strong, like a man. Like Gale. He has always been my rock, someone for me to talk to. I know that if I need him, he'll be there for me. He can always protect me. The sight of him sleeping helps me comprehend some of my feelings. And then, a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I immediately distinguish.

Gale had been my friend for about four years. But in a matter of months it was like we knew each other perfectly. And of course I got to notice how handsome he was. In fact, I knew he was smoldering hot. But I rejected these feelings to the back of my mind, dismissing them without a second thought. Recalling those memories, I remember now seeing him watching me when he thought I wasn't looking. It wasn't the type of look you would give a friend. But, again, I dismissed any notion that we were, or would ever be, more than friends.

I remember now after the reaping in the Justice Building, and the guards were dragging him away. The moment came back like a flood.

"_You know I won't! Katniss, remember, I –"_

What? He what? Did he know even then that he loved me?

How could I have not suspected it? It was obviously so clear to the rest of the world that he felt this way about me.

"_You mean a lot to someone. And if you ask them I'm sure they would do the same as Peeta."_

"_But you'll find something that will help you cope. Hey, it could be right under your nose."_

And it was.

It was then, when I was watching Gale sleeping, that I realized loved him too.

I crept back to my room, and slept silently for the rest of the night.

I awoke around noon. Surprised I had slept so late, I quickly got up and rushed into the kitchen. But no one was there. Only a note, written in my mother's handwriting, _Gone to Seam. Be back soon. _From all that had happened last night, I had almost forgotten about what normal went on at my house.

Then I remembered Gale.

He doesn't know I love him._ I _didn't even know until last night. But, just when I finally realized what he meant to me, he might as well not care.

I tried to relax, but my whole body was buzzing with worry and anxiety. I started pacing left and right, left and right, left and right again. I was so frustrated with myself. Why had I let him slip away?

The day went by slowly and painfully. Finally, it was time that Gale would get off work at the mines. I rushed over to there, and waited for him to emerge from the darkness. I had planned it perfectly. When he came out and saw me, I would run over and kiss him, straight on the lips. Hopefully it would be enough.

But after about half an hour, he hadn't come out. He was never amongst the throngs of workers leaving. This was extremely odd. Nevertheless, I tried to preoccupy myself by looking away from the entrance.

Suddenly, two sharp noises pierced the air. I whipped around, and saw Gale running out of the mines. Then it exploded, and everything I cared about went up in flames.


	4. Explosion

The fire is everywhere. Surrounding the entrance, engulfing my heart, and actually consuming itself. The explosion is short lived, but I can still feel the intense heat in every part of my body. I can barely hear myself screaming. Everything seems frozen in time, and the next few moments pass frame by frame. More people gather near the mine, waiting to see the destruction. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Haymitch coming toward me, and soon I felt his hand on my shoulder. As the smoke cleared, I loosen his grip and run straight into the aftermath before anyone can stop me.

Gale is on the outskirts of the explosion, lying on the ground. His hair is singed, and sparks are still flying around him. His skin is red and black. Hot tears flow down my cheeks, stinging like an open wound. Gently, I turn him on his back. He's unconscious, barely breathing. Seeing his face covered with falling ashes and dust broke my heart even more. I screamed out of pain and anger, holding on tightly to Gale's shoulders. _This couldn't be happening. It absolutely could not be happening._

For awhile everything is blurry. I hear Haymitch talking to me, but I pay no attention to his words. Someone else came up, but I didn't recognize the voice. I did hear something about Gale, how he thought something was wrong in the mine. He had stayed behind to check around. Then he found out it was going to explode, and ran for the exit. He was just a little bit late.

A couple of mine workers came to take Gale to my mother.

"Don't hurt him!" I yell. They give me a sympathetic look, and carry him away.

I'm still crying, shaking with pain that won't go away. I feel a combination of nausea, insanity, and anger. My head is spinning, and don't know whether to curl up in a ball and cry or run away. Haymitch helps me up, leading me toward my house. I'm so numb; I can barely feel my feet touching the ground. My soul is still burning inside, flames consuming me until I'm about to break.

We walk into the house, and suddenly I come to. I see Gale laying on our table. My mother has taken off his shirt and was running cool water over what was left of his skin. His hair is soaked with red blood. He is still unconscious, but I know he can feel the pain. If it's anything like what's burning inside me, it's unbearable. A sound similar to screaming escapes my lips, and everyone looks up at me.

"Someone get her out of here!" I feel Haymitch, pulling me away, but I'm fighting to get to Gale. He tries to put his mouth over my mouth, but I bite him. I squirm away, finally reaching the table.

"Let me stay! I can handle it! Just let me stay. _Please_," I'm sobbing through my words, my eyes blurry with tears.

"Okay, she can stay. But be quiet!"

I quickly sit down beside Gale, taking his hand. I barely notice my mom treating his burns. I look at his face, studying his expression. Although his eyelids are shut, I can see his eyes moving rapidly. A sound escapes his lips, and it brings fresh tears to my eyes. My hands are shaking, and I try to steady myself with the table.

I sit there for hours, waiting silently. At midnight, everyone else had left, but I stayed. Although his burns were third-degree, my mother thought he would make it. Gale is still unconscious, and now he just looks like he's sleeping. I know that I still love him, and almost losing him proved it. It was my fault he got into this mess. I hurt him beyond care. I never told him. He still doesn't know. And for all I knew he could never know.

The night passes by, and so does another day. I don't ever leave his side, not even for a moment. And even though he never gains consciousness for more than a moment, I knew he was hurting. While my heart was on fire, I know his is too. Because when his eyes open for those few seconds, I can see the pain in his eyes.

As the long day turns into night, I still haven't left my post by Gale. It's like an out-of-body experience. I never registered anything around me. Gale is the center of everything. I didn't even notice when most everyone went to the Gale's house to watch after Rory, Vick and Posy.

My mother's hand is on my shoulder. I want to look up at her, but I can't look away from Gale's face.

"You should get some sleep, Katniss."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. He's going to be okay."

"How do you know? Can you see the future now?"

"No, but I can see his wounds aren't as bad as you think," She sat down beside me, and I finally looked at her for a split second. "And I can see that you care about him."

"Yeah I do. That's why I can't leave."

"I know you don't want to. But the least you can do is get some sleep," She gets up, and hands me a pillow, "We're leaving. Will you watch him? Oh, right."

After about an hour, I did drift off into sleep.

It's mostly flashes and images. Fire. Torture. Burning. Gale. Woods. Explosion. Grave. Games. Hunting. Kiss. Crazy. Sleep. Death. Peeta. Cold. Agony. Blame. Selfish. Igniting. Arrows. Destruction. Frozen. Gale. Dead. Blood. Death. Red. Insanity. Damaged. Fault. Unconscious. Pain. Hurting. Dead. Guilt. Bang. Demise. Blaze. Ice. Sting. Fire. Pain. Gale. Alone. Buried. Dead. Gale. Gale. Gale. Hurt. Dead…

The last picture lasts for awhile. It's Peeta at the Games. Bloody, dead, cold, eyes glazed. Suddenly, it was Gale. Burnt, bloody, charred, dead, cold, but eyes still crying. I'm too frozen to scream, too hurt to wipe the tears from my eyes.

"Oh, Gale… It's my fault."

"Gale!" I snap awake, sitting up. I'm sweating and crying. It was the worst nightmare I've ever had. I'm still sitting next to Gale, and the sight of him helps me back into awareness. I breathe deeply, trying to calm down.

I barely hear him whispering my name.


	5. Finally

"Catnip?"

A weak cry emerges from my mouth, and I feel like there's a lightning bolt inside me. The sound of his voice brings new tears to my eyes. He means so much to me, but I know I can only hope he'll forgive me after I've hurt him continuously. I lean closer to him so I can hear him better. He smells like ashes still, which once again ignites the flames in my mind again. Breathlessly, I answer, "Hey, Gale."

He starts moving a little, and I sit anxiously by him. My mother may be amazing with injured people, but I don't know how to handle them like her. I hold my breath. But he seems fine.

Gale goes to sit up, and it hurts me when I see a hint of pain in his eyes. Thankfully, it goes away as quick as it came. I try to help him up, but I'm afraid to touch the burns on his bare chest. His charred body looks so fragile, like it could burst into a million pieces any second. I sit completely still.

But he sits up, his legs hanging over the edge of the table. I climb up and sit right next to him, not even touching but close enough to feel the warmth radiating off of his body.

"Cat, are you okay?"

I laugh for the first time in a long time. It seems absolutely positively ludicrous for him to ask that, given the circumstances of the situation. "Are _you_ okay?"

"You didn't answer my question," I looked straight at him, letting him see all of my face, "Guess not."

"It's kind of horrible, isn't it?"

"Not really. You've been worse."

"Whe – Oh," I don't need to finish my sentence. I know Gale had to watch me in the Games last year. It's just another time that I hurt him.

I notice that he's shivering. Instantaneously, I grab his jacket on the floor next to me. I help put it on carefully, not wanting to hurt him even more. I sit back down, and he studies my face. Quickly, I change the subject.

"Now you never answered _my_ question."

"Good, considering. It's all fuzzy. And I feel like I've been asleep for days," Which he has, "But other than that, I'm fine."

His words assure me, but I still feel like he's hiding the real pain from me. I get up and bring him some remedies my mother left for him. He drinks it fast, and I can notice his shoulders start to relax and his eyes glaze a little. As his breathing slows down, I feel a little better, but I'm still worried.

"Can you remember anything?"

"Hmm… Not most things. I remember running, and then there was fire. And something hit my head, **really **hard," He reaches up, rubbing the back of his head. When he pulls his hand down, it's covered in blood. I feel the heat retreat from my body as I stare wide-eyed at his bloody fingers. Seeing the look on my face, he chuckles.

"It's fine. I can't feel a thing. Just a little blood."

I'm still gaping at his hand in horror.

Gale nudges me and I snap back into life. He has this worried look on his face, as he searched my face for emotions.

"Katniss, are you sure you're okay?" I look down, trying to avoid his eyes that can always see through me. But he lifts my chin back up, searching for the answer in my eyes. "You can tell me, you know."

I look in his eyes, trying to hide my emotions. But thinking back to everything that's happened in the past few days, I can't. He could have been dead. The explosion was big enough. He could have never known how I felt. I see him again; limp, cold on the ground. Then again under my mother's hand as I sit beside him. He looked so vulnerable, so beyond repair. I didn't know how he would ever recover. I could have lost him. And the blood on his hand…

The next thing I know, his arms are holding me up while I'm crying on his shoulder. My body is shaking violently, heaving to and fro, but Gale's arms stay wrapped around me. I almost lost him.

Eventually I calm down. Gale pulls away to look at me again, a small, understanding smile sitting on his lips. He pulls me back in to hug me, and I breathe in the warmness around him. It's almost like we're magnets, because we're immediately connected when we're together, and it's oh so hard to pull away from him.

This time I pull away. He starts to question me, but I stop him. He looks puzzled, slightly confused. Then I lean in closer, until our foreheads are barely touching.

And I kiss him.

It's such a sweet, simple kiss of absolute devotion. My heart practically stops beating. I'm kissing Gale, and he's kissing me back. I feel so comforted in his arms, ever so close to his body. The warmth of his lips spreads through my entire body, reassuring me of my decision. My protector, my hunting partner, and my best friend, turns out to be the one I can ever truly love.

After who knows how long, we pull apart. Yet our arms are still wrapped around each other. I'm trying to catch my breath, but our kiss still has a thrilling effect on me. At last, I have enough energy to tell him.

"Gale, I love you," He's smiling wide. In his sparkling eyes, I can tell that the hurt I caused him is paid off with four little words that meant so much.

He leans back in, and kisses me again.

Our first kiss is multiplied about forty times in this one; so much it's electrifying me. Because this time I'm _really_ kissing him. The fire leaps between our bodies, causing sparks to fly around in my brain. Lightning shoots down my spine, sending me shivers. My hands become entwined in his hair, and he stands, bringing me off my feet. Everything bursts in a moment of smoldering passion and adoration. Heat encompasses my whole body, and the burning light only seems to intensify everything. Shimmering light is dancing in my eyes, and the smell of his breath is dizzying. My beating heart feels like it could jump out of my chest. Our breathing deepens, and he lets out a sound of simple euphoria. I'm practically clinging on to him, never wanting to let go.

Eventually we pull apart, and he sets me back on my feet. He has this goofy smile that fills me with happiness. And I notice I'm smiling the same smile.

We end up talking for hours, and it's like nothing ever changed. We're just friends again. But every now and again, we would touch slightly and fireworks go off. His arm somehow goes around me, and I'm leaning into him. In just a few moments we've become closer.

I start shaking, and he wraps me in his jacket. It sends a shockwave through me. I'm leaning against him when I begin to fall asleep, and everything becomes fuzzy. And then Gale is carrying me into my room, and I'm still wrapped in his warm jacket. I lie next to him, feeling the electricity passing through us. Even when he leaves I still can't catch my breath. Ultimately I drift off to sleep, knowing that I won't be haunted by freakish nightmares about the Hunger Games.

*******

AN: Thanks for reading my first story! It's not the best, but hopefully I'll get better. Hope you enjoyed it. Team Gale all the way :)


	6. Again

Okay, so a couple of people have asked about a continuation of the story! So, commencing the release of Mockingjay, here it is! Huzzah! ;)

A lot had changed since the Games. Some for worse and some for better. But lately, everything seemed to be getting better.

I stare outside my window, rain pelting the cool glass. Gray clouds rest in the sky, formidable and omniscient. I just sit and stare, my eyes blank. Thinking of nothing in particular, but really my mind was on one thing. _It was coming all along_, I thought to myself, _you knew it_.

It had been almost a year since I was in the arena. And that meant it was almost time for another Games.

This year I would be preparing people for their imminent death.

It's going to be particularly difficult, seeing as this year is the Quarter Quell. Every 25 Hunger Games, the Capitol holds an "extra special" and extra upsetting Games, one that shows us how much Panem is at their mercy. Quarter Quell means anything – and everything – could happen in the arena. Tributes are virtually dead when their names are called.

Trying to get the subject off my mind is impossible. I attempt to remain calm, but I'm tense and shaky. I try to relax.

Casually, I look at the clock. Instantly, I jolt up and hurry outside. I practically run to the mines, where Gale was about to resurface. Six months after my confession to him, and I still get excited whenever I'm about to see him again. My heart races as I look for him in a sea of faces emerging from the mines.

We see each other the same second, and both of us smile. He's covered in dirt, but none the less his smile fills me up with warmth. I run to reach him, gleefully, and I feel so cheesy. But I don't care at all. When I get to him, I give him a quick hug and pull away. He's not too fond of public displays of our affection. But as I draw back, he gives me a look, and it sends chills through me. He pulls me closer again, and kisses me.

My body is covered with electricity, and at the same time is fills with such a warmth that I almost melt. The world stops for a mere second, and I'm intensely grateful. Eventually we break apart from each other. I try to question him, but my brain can't make out any words. All the blood in my body rushes to my face. Taking a deep breath, I try to recover.

"You looked anxious," he says, saving me the distress. I smile, and look straight into his eyes. My life is messed up and I'm absolutely insane, but he always knows exactly what is wrong with me.

We walk, talking a little. Slowly his arm ends up around my shoulder, and obviously I don't care. We somehow get outside the fences of District 12, and just keep walking. I try to bury my unstable emotions, trying not to ruin everything. But I start shaking again, and instantaneously I blow my cover.

"What's wrong, Cat?"

I struggle to figure out what to say. Obviously he knows a little about the Quell. But he doesn't know what I'm going to endure. And I don't want him to know how much I'm hurting inside because of this. But he can get me to say almost anything.

"It's just… It's starting all over again. No matter what goes on, the Games still happen every year. And this year I'll **be** there again."

He stops and pulls away. Gently, he touches my arms, looking at me intently, "You know it will be different this year. You don't have to go _in_ the arena."

"I know, but I'll be there, with the tributes. I'm going to shove them into the arena. Gale, they're going to die! And I'll have to watch every single second of it. And I'll be back the next year, and the year after that, and the year after that!" Apparently he _can_ make me say anything.

He pauses a moment and I know he had no idea how to respond. But he quickly regains his composure, and straight into my eyes. Softly, he says, "Look, I understand. It's going to be hard. But everything will work out. And, even though I can't be right next to you, I'll be there. Every single second of it. Okay?"

Wow, did he _really_ just say that? I can hardly believe it. It was single-handedly the sweetest thing someone has ever said. Tears well up in my eyes, "Okay," I whisper.

He pulls me closer to him and wraps his arms around me. Burying my face him his chest, I let his warmth encompass me. Silently I let myself cry, but still try to hide it from him. He leans down and presses his lips against my head.

After a while, I pull back. I try to dry my tears before he even has a chance to see them. I realize I'm smiling, almost laughing.

"I guess you're right. I'm overreacting a little."

"No, you have every right to be worried. It just freaks me out to see you like this. It's not like you."

"Yeah I guess it isn't."

Later that night, the television was one for the announcement of the Quarter Quell. Gale came to watch it with us. Every now and then he would lean in close to me to mock the Capitol accent or make a sardonic comment. Trying to hide my laughter was nearly impossible. True, it was a horrible time to crack jokes about the Capitol. But he was trying to cheer me up. That, and what he was saying about the stupid costumes citizens in the Capitol wear was 100% true.

It was only when President Snow came on that he was completely quiet. I could feel the tension around him, and the whole room. It is just another year of the Districts having to sacrifice, one more year of the Capitol holding our own defeat over our heads. He hates the Hunger Games more than I do, and his loathing shown bright at that moment.

After explaining the history of the Games and the Quarter Quell, a young boy runs up to Snow with a wooden box. _This is it_, I thought, _this is the terrible news_. President Snow opens the box, grabs the envelope for the 75th Games, and opens it slowly. Everyone in Panem holds their breath.

"Representing how even when the rebels thought they were safe from the Capitol they weren't at all, tributes for this Hunger Games will be reaped from ages 19 through 24."


End file.
